Welcome back to Cover Snark!

From Sara: And this guy – he seems to be enjoying his solo quality nipple time, while still giving us the full on bro chin lift.

Sarah: I’m so proud that he found his nipples. Good job, Bulldog!

Amanda: A reminder to schedule your mammograms!

Sneezy: Anyone else get disappointed when there’s no dog when someone says dog? Like, yay, have fun with your nipples, so happy for you, WHERE IS THE DOG THOUGH??? THE TITLE SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT A DOG!!!

From Melodie: Backstage shot at The Bachelor where Mr. Reluctant is trying to figure out just where his life went so wrong that he ended up on The Bachelor. Behind him the Rose God is feasting on his sorrow.

Sarah: You think that’s the rose god’s portal?

Elyse: No but I think I had that Ken.

Sneezy: Maybe if he feels Kenough, he’ll be more enthusiastic.

Elyse: Pink eye is a real bitch.

Amanda: I do have questions about the mermaid downstairs business.

Elyse: Me too.

Tara: Looks like he does too.

Elyse: “Go away helicopter! I’m trying to figure out sex with my mermaid girlfriend!”

Sarah: Emergency Visine coming in hot!

Amanda: The next logical event would be her blasting the helicopter out of the sky with her laser eyes.

Sarah: I mean, how dare they interrupt half fishy sexxytimes

Sneezy: Villainy!!! Lunacy!!!! Burn them down from the skies!!!

From Liz: Oh. Oh, no thank you.

Sarah: Agree, pass.

No arrangements nor assassins needed, we’re good.

(Is that a LIVESTRONG bracelet??)

Elyse: What the fuck is he wearing?

Sarah: Nylon straps from a flatbed truck?

Lara: He needs to hydrate as a matter of urgency. Where is Dr Nips with the IV fluids?

Amanda: I feel like you can’t be a good assassin if you’re constantly busting out of your shirts.

Sneezy: Maybe he thinks he’s invisible and only needs to take off his clothes to be unseen.