Lara asked this question recently regarding her own reading, and I’d been pondering it since then until I came across this article from Sophie Vershbow: “When Is it Okay to Not Finish a Book?”

So how does a conscientious person decide when to give up and when to stick it out to the end? The debate is much older than the internet, but in online reading communities such as Goodreads, or on the literary sides of Instagram or TikTok, the acronym “DNF,” for “Did Not Finish,” abounds—as do arguments about when doing so is appropriate.

There are those who strongly believe that no matter how badly you want to abandon a book, you should always finish it, and plenty of others adamant that life is too short to ever read something you’re not thoroughly thrilled with.

I love Sophie Vershbow’s writing, especially when she’s writing about publishing, books, and reading, and the article gave me even more to think about.

I didn’t have an answer to the “why” part of the question until very recently because my answer to “when do you DNF,” or “when is it okay,” is “Whenever the fuck I want to stop reading something.”

“When?” Whenever I want!

I don’t suffer from completism, nor do I feel required to start at book 1 if I want to read book 3 of a series. If I don’t like something, I move on. There’s no Reading Police that are going to come find me. I don’t think so, anyway. If they show up on my porch, I’ll ask to see their warrant. (And I’ll definitely read it to the end!)

But then I hit a hard stop in a book recently that seemed so absurd that I had to sit and think deliberately whether I wanted to continue. I knew I had a few “whys” when I DNF. This was a new one, though.

I was looking for some examples of the “Touch her and DIE” trope, which typically does not work for me but I was curious. And in the book I was reading, the hero’s pov chapter starts with grumpy ruminating about all the large luxury business buildings…in the middle of Washington DC’s metro area.

Allegedly the hero is in a building with thirty-plus floors?

So this may be a bit too inside-baseball style pedantry, but DC is a very short city. Petite, even. There are laws from the 1890s about how tall a building can be based on width of the street it is on:

The 1899 Height of Buildings Act established that no building could be taller than the Capitol (289 feet), but if that’s the case, why don’t we have a city full of 28-story buildings? Well, in 1910 the act was amended to restrict building heights even further: no building could be more than twenty feet taller than the width of the street that it faces. So, a building on a street with an 80-foot right-of-way could only be 100 feet, or 10 stories.

(Source: We Love DC.com – this article is neat. I really went full nerd on this one.)

I really had to ask myself if I wanted to keep reading! The version of DC in the book was so off the wall, it was nearing Rrrrrrromantasy territory. It was so absurd.

(I did keep reading but I ended up DNFing because the narration kept describing coffee as anything but coffee – “bitter brew,” “dark liquid,” “bitter liquid.” JUST. SAY. COFFEE. IT’S FINE.)

So now my brain has latched onto this query and I wanted to ask y’all as well – have you thought about why you DNF, and what your latest hard stop was? (And is it alternative descriptions for “coffee?”)

Elyse: For me a hard stop is usually content related.

I also DNF a lot of books because I can’t get into them, but then return to them later. I’m very much a mood reader and sometimes the world building is taking too long or the romance is too slow burn, and I switch to something else and come back when I’m in a different mindset.

Sometimes I want a quick hit of adrenaline like a thriller and sometimes I want lots of world building and detail like fantasy. It just depends on my headspace.

Amanda: I think the posing of the question “when is it okay” feels silly to me because the answer is whenever you want. There’s no shame in not finishing and I personally love to rant. #HaterAtHeart

However, if I am recommending a book that I finished and know there’s some pacing issue, I’ll definitely mention, “Oh, you do have to stick with it for X amount of pages” and then they can go with god.

I DNF a lot. Like a lot a lot. If the mood isn’t right. If the characters are annoying. If it’s too twee. Usually within the first 50 pages.

Sarah: The first 50 pages part is key for me, too, especially because as I said on a recent podcast, so many romances lately seem to have an inciting incident that is complete career and personal destruction or some form of cataclysmic humiliation for the heroine and my secondhand embarrassment meter cannot handle it.

Claudia: I am a recovering “completionist.” In the past, if a book wasn’t holding my attention, I’d often skip a few paragraphs or pages. I don’t this as much now. I think for me is a mix of my own moods and whether something in the book annoys me, like the example that Sarah gave.

Shana: I consistently DNF about a third of the books I start. I often feel vaguely guilty about it because I’m refusing to consume someone’s lovingly crafted art. Also, a DNF has the potential to turn into a ranting review and I love a good rant.

But I decided long ago that my happiness is more important than reading a book I hate in service of others. I often check Goodreads to reassure myself that another reader has already clocked whatever made my teeth set on edge.

I often DNF when I pick a book with a trope or theme I usually dislike and then, surprise, I don’t like it. Last week, I was burning through Lillian Lark’s monster romances when I got to Stalked by the Kraken. Stalking in a romance doesn’t usually work for me but I like Lark so I tried it anyway. The hero sees the heroine from across the room and stalks her for a week while she has the creepy crawling feeling of someone watching her. I hated it. So I skipped that book and went on to the next one.

Sometimes I’ll be happily reading until I stumble over one of my least favorite character traits, usually an alphahole or character who stubbornly believes their billionaire love interest is inherently better than they are. When that happens I limp along for a while before admitting defeat.

Tara: I agree with a lot of what everyone else is saying. One of the best days in my life was when I finally acknowledged that life is too short to read books I don’t love.

For the most part, I’ll DNF a book because I’m bored or because I don’t like the characters. I also have a hard time reading romances with characters who have the same name as me, my husband, or my kids. I just bailed on a book with a character named Tara, because her self esteem was through the floor.

I’ll also bail on a book if it’s too sweet or so emotional that it feels absurd.

Sarah: I still can’t believe you got a romance where the two leads had your daughters’ names. Like, whoa.

Tara: Oh yeah. I regret that one.

I wasn’t paying attention to character names when I requested an ARC because I was so excited by the best friends-to-lovers premise. Then it arrived and I saw the best friends have the same names as my daughters. So that one is more of a “will never start” than a DNF.

Lara: I DNF a lot of books. Sometimes for the reasons above, but sometimes because I’m just not in the headspace to read. No book stands a chance in those circumstances, or maybe only the truly spectacular. When I DNF I don’t get far – maybe 5% in – then I chuck in the towel. When I am in the mood for reading and I still DNF a book, it’s either some kind of ick or I just don’t care about the characters at all.

Sarah: It’s really interesting to me that so many people (not in this conversation – I was re-reading Sophie Vershbow’s article again because it’s so good) feel like starting a book requires finishing it. I’ve just never felt that way, even when I skim skim skim to find out who did it and move on with my life.

Lara: I wonder if the source of the book matters. If I’ve bought the book, it physically pains me to DNF. I get properly grumpy about it. When I had limited access to romance novels (small town library), I’d also persevere more often out of desperation for more.

Sarah: I bet it does matter! When there were so few romances available to me, I stuck with a lot of books I’d tap out of now.

Claudia: Yes, or a book that took forever to be available from the library!

Sarah: Scarcity or lack of options, plus having waited and invested time? Oh yeah. That’s a hard situation!

Claudia: Definitely a bit of FOMO.

Sarah: And isn’t FOMO a wild, unpredictable motivator?!

Claudia: Sure is!

Sarah: I know I’ve done somewhat out of character things because of FOMO-influence. WEIRD how powerful it can be.

Elyse: I can’t get over how many books I’ve read because of social media pressure that were terrible.

Shana: I saw a TikTok that recently where @jennis_bookclub talked about popular books that she is not straight enough to read.

(Sarah: I was going to embed but it auto-plays and I don’t love that, so that’s a link to the video in question.)

I felt so seen! I honestly have no FOMO about many Booktok romances because when I try to read them it’s pretty clear they’re not going to work for me.

Elyse: Also, not to be morbid, but I’ll die with books unread. Is it really worthwhile to push through a meh book when I could read something I love instead?

Sarah: My father always says you can’t die if you don’t have unfinished books. It’s his secret to immortality.

Elyse: I’m gonna live forever.

Susan: I remember the bad old days when I would never DNF queer fiction regardless of quality, because it was so hard to find! And now it’s everywhere and I don’t have to finish bad books for crumbs.

(Ask Me About Terrible Queer Fiction, I Dare You)

What I find now is that if a story sets up a mystery and I solve it before the character even has a clue, I can’t keep reading. I have asked friends, “What chapter does the protagonist realise [x]?” and if the answer isn’t soon, I have to bail.

And weirdly, characters betraying their loved ones without even noticing drives me bats. I’ve tried to read the Whyborne & Griffin series five times, and EVERY SINGLE TIME I get to the same page of Bloodline and have to stop. Like, I can read a lot of dubious things, but feeling disappointed or disgusted by the characters is a thing I can’t get past

Basically my thoughts on DNFing are that it’s always okay, and you’re allowed to do it for whatever reason.

… And there’s always the option of just skipping to the last three chapters, which is how I read thrillers.

Sarah: I misread this as “Skipping the last three chapters” of a thriller, and thought you were skipping the whole ending and was IMPRESSED.

Susan: “I’ve seen enough!” [drops book, leaves]

Sarah: A true champion!

What about you? Do you finish the books you start or do you DNF? Have you thought about why you DNF, if you do?